I see colorful changing lights coming from my oil diffuser. I see art work from the Mermaid Parade in Coney Island. A pink elephant, a picture of my Mom and I, a red chair with roses, my crystals, my hideous broken short ring finger nail, my Goodnight Moon book, an aloe plant and a leopard chain bag. Sunglasses, grey carpeting, white furniture, a turquoise blanket and my dog.
SIDEBAR: My BFF (and partner) once told me if I am having trouble writing, start by describing things that I see around my room (or wherever I am) to get my brain moving and focused. This is what I'm doing right now. Out loud to myself.
But it's not working.
I still have nothing to write about.
Maybe, like most things in life, I haven't given it enough time.
Me, impatient? SHOCKER.
A whole 12 minutes later...
Hmm.. I'm thinking of Facebook where a simple "What is on your mind?" style question & answer could suffice?
Lord knows I don't ever answer that actual question on actual Facebook. I don't think I've got much in common with the people that do answer that question on Facebook... especially on a daily basis. I could honestly say if I didn't enjoy my small, perfect + beautifully twisted @greevingcards community as much as I do, I would be off the social grid completely.
It's 2018. PHONE A FRIEND. Not the 829 strangers you've somehow gathered over the past 10 years who now know an uncomfortable amount of information on your private health issues. Or have generally just been an innocent victim of you plot spoiling a show they didn't get to crash into their DVR and watch yet.
SIDEBAR: This judgemental tone is real.
Since we're being honest, I severely do not enjoy the oversharing era we are living in. Every detail of life is totally exposed. Nothing is scared. Nothing is just for you / your family or the people you're with. Nothing feels private. And reading someone's private shit makes me feel uncomfortable. To top it all off, everything is a God damn highlight reel.
SIDEBAR: I miss disposable cameras.
If you didn't take a picture, did it really happen?
If you didn't post it, were you really there?
Is the why because people need to be constantly validated... ie: likes, comments and ego strokes? Is it because your phone is always in your hand and your learned behavior at this point is just click, post and share? Is it because you are BORED? (which is just a nice way of saying that YOU'RE BORING). D. All the of the above?
When did we all forget how to simply enjoy life instead of document it?
Sometimes I feel like all of the fun as been taken out of social media and it's all become TALK, TALK, TALK. On the other end is someone who's simply waiting for anyone to bite their bait so they can respond again. Stop what you're all doing an post more pictures of your dog. That's it.
SIDEBAR: Not really listening and listening just to respond is not cool. Really appreciated learning that. Read that again if you have to.
To me, the problem lies in the fact that it's usually the idiots that are doing all the talking while the people with more than half a brain know better and lock it up.
SIDEBAR: Unrelated, but if your Instagram still only has predominately selfies. Suggestive ones at that... we're old now and..………. Aren't... you... ?
SIDEBAR PT 2: Am I the only person that loves it when my phone dies? It's so freeing.
Switching gears and subjects before I engage in a real rude rant on how annoying I find every person on social media.
COOL SKINNY PIC OF YOU FROM 29384 FT ABOVE. WHO TOOK THAT, YOUR FRIEND SHAQ?
SIDEBAR: Maybe I'll make that into a blog... TOP 5 PEOPLE YOU SHOULD NEVER BE ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
Now, I'd love to share something I've been doing for a while that's been helping me MAJORLY. Maybe some of you will want to try it, maybe some of you already do it? It's certainly not rocket science or even anything new.
I put my entire phone on mute, turn it face down and walk away.
It could be 20 minutes, it could be 4 hours. I've reached the point of no limits in regards to how long it'll last.
Do you have any idea how productive you can be without that time sucker in your hand? Or even just it yelling at you every 5 minutes? We have literally become slaves to it. It rings, we answer. It pings, we check it. It dings, we stop what we're doing and see what it needs from us. And if it isn't ringing, pinging or dinging, we're scrolling or reading or zooming or screen shotting. You'd be surprised but, there ARE other things to do besides stare at your phone.
Submersing yourself in other people's highlight reels IS NOT DOWN TIME, it's extra fog. Don't you ever just want to shut off and recharge yourself instead of your phone?
After this last situationship ended a few weeks ago, (eye rolling myself that it always takes a change to make me change), I realized something really simple.
SIDEBAR: The end of this relationship feels like one of those 90's vacation t-shirts... like "I rode this wobbly ride from Brooklyn and all I got was some scar tissue in my knee from a drunken fall." I kid. He certainly served his season in my life. With flying colors even. Tons of laughs and memories but ultimately we're not and were never on the same page. Disconnect is a blessing. I haven't got not one hard feeling in this beautiful body of mine. That is what I call some personal growth, yo.
True to form, I've already lost focus just from explaining that sidebar. And that's a great example of why you don't look back. He had a big head anyway. Thank you, next.
SIDEBAR: JUST BECAUSE I MENTION PERSONAL GROWTH, DOESN'T MEAN I'M NOT STILL PETTY.
But coming back to it--- after a chat with a girlfriend I was reminded of something so terribly stinkin simple. 1. Big picture it / Who cares. 2. The little things are really the big things. Not a brainbuster.
What are you thankful & grateful for? What do you enjoy? DO MORE OF THAT. AND FUCK THE REST. PERIOD.
Taking the time to unplug and doing the little things that genuinely make you happy is an extremely underutilized life technique. It's SO easy to get wrapped up. If you fail to unplug from time to time and refuse to open your eyes a little wider to the little things, you'll just end up missing it all. Or scrolling your life away. Brainwashing yourself with other people's crap and either judging yourself against someone else's highlight reel or judging them for their desperately annoying highlight reel.
NO. AND NO.
Both of those are a waste of perfectly good time and energy you could recycle back into yourself.
You could probably add writing to the list of things that make me happy too. #freetherapy
I know we should feel this way all the time, but the holiday season brings a certain sense of magic that you really can't deny.
'Tis the season to be thankful and grateful.
And eat your weight in cookies and carbs.
LOVE YOU MORE THAN PIZZA.
PS. I'll have some Black Friday / Wknd / Cyber Monday Sales and new merch this week so keep your pretty little eyes open. But also OFF YOUR PHONE.