TRUTH: Sometimes I miss the fact I don't really rant anymore.
Did I grow up? Did I grow self control? Peter Pan?
I really used to yell about anything and everything. That feels exhausting just typing it. Of course things still annoy me, how would I be here if they didn't? But now I just make a conscious effort to ignore the bullshit and conserve my energy.
If you must know-- my go-to efforts range from lighting an incense, putting on a frequency, smoking the devil's lettuce (Sorry, Ma but you knew this already), putting crystals in my bra, going for a run, a good old crying sesh, eating more cookies than is "ok", or talking it through with my girlfriends. Honestly, anything besides attending to someone or something's negativity. Point being, aside from the occasional mood swing, it now takes a lot to fire me up and I'm proud of it.
What is a rant anyway?
Someone's aggressive opinion being gagged down someone else's throat that never even asked to be gagged in the first place? Even more so now, it's usually via text and some finger muscles. HOW ANNOYING. We're in our 30's now, have some self control.
Regardless, there is definitely a time and place for a rant and although I may not rant as much as I used to I can still tell you that the TIME OR PLACE IS NEVER A FACEBOOK STATUS.
Aren't you embarrassed?
Just fucking say it to someone's face (and I don't mean be confrontational in saying that but just communicate) or don't say it at all. Passive aggressive will never be the new black but speaking up and remaining true to yourself will always be in style.
When we get older the little bullshits don't matter anymore. Us along with our priorities change because our experiences have changed us. Acceptance, being present in the moment and gratitude are really real. Change is a gift and personal growth is the goal. Your best bet is to embrace it, recognize it's for the better and just keep evolving into a better version of yourself.
Sidebar & Disclaimer: By no means am I an expert nor do I claim to be the Dalai Lama. My words simply come from a shit ton of shitty experiences. Work in progress trying contain the reactive, impulsive, psychopath of a Scorpio I was born to be and deep down still am.
Totally off topic but now all this talk of change has me thinking... What other things I do miss?
Off the top of my head: Drawers of scrunchies, spending hours on my Nintendo, covering my school books with grocery bags and making the edges crisp and pointy, riding my bike everywhere and playing outside, NOT PAYING ANY BILLS, eating Bubble Tape only in one bite, drinking without getting a hangover that puts me on bed rest, and money falling out of a birthday card. (Sidebar: Why does that stop when you get older? Doesn't anyone realize I need the money more now than I did then?)
God, that all made me a little sad.
So, let's be a hypocritical and roll with an impromtu rant...
If I could casually rant about anything right now I would say... ummm...
Ladies, can someone tell me why you are all wearing track pants with heels? It's so counter productive and I really can not and will not get on board with it.
(Sidebar: Do you remember there was always that one kid in school that would wear the Adidas track pants that snapped all the way up the leg and some jerkoff would run by and tear the snaps off the entire leg? Then that poor kid's pre-pubescent hairless chicken thigh would be fully exposed in some baggy Joe Boxer smiley face boxers? The 90s ❤)
The obvious guess for me is because Kim K wears track pants and heels. (EYE ROLL). Put this on record: I Iegit can not stand any of them. Not even the kids. Oh and those miniature, toddler size 3T sunglasses are not cute either. I guess we can thank Kourtney for them.
TBH, I really miss a world before the Kardashian/Jenners (EYE ROLLING HARDER) were what everyone wanted to look like. Look around: everyone's face, lips, ass, closets and contour-- E-X-A-C-T-L-Y the same. There is Z-E-R-O originality. Fillers, lips, extensions, charging your new ass on your AmEx, highlighting to the point of looking straight Mattel... Can someone just tell me why?
(Sidebar: I always think of the Angelina Jolie fish from Shark Tale.)
It's disappointing. Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever misses their old face? Also, don't you know your kids will still look like the old you? Also part 2, please do not come for me with any type of "female shaming" because that's not ever why I'm here. My point is this: Why do you want to look like anyone other than yourself?
Self confidence is so important and sometimes it takes a lot of work to keep it. We are definitely all born pure and happy until life happens. It hardens is. People tear you down and insecurities build up. I'm all for doing everything you can to feel good but to me, the new face trend just seems like a mixture of social issues that make me uncomfortable. Be real. Love yourself the way you are.
You can disagree, that's fine. You can think I'm wrong, that's fine too.
Sidebar: Sorry if I offended anyone? I think? I'm not sure if I mean that honestly but just understand that there's a deeper issue I'm referring to.
To anyone I may have offended, agree to disagree?
Come on though, ladies.
Be proud of who you are and most importantly who you are becoming.
LOVE YOU MORE THAN PIZZA