8: It's the truth, Ruth.

All hail your besties; it's National Sibling Day.


If you're lucky enough, you have some formerly annoying other half(ves) that you can call your BFF(s). Mine is my (older 😉) sister. If you don't, that's cool too. You probably have at the very least a few good friends and a cute pet so you're straight . Or even if you're a total loner, I'm sure there's a National One Man Wolfpack Day or something coming up soon.

SIDEBAR: Btw, Hey Sis! Didn't think you'd ever make the cut, did ya? 

My sister knows me better than I know me. So cliché, but it's just the truth. She always knows what to say, when to shut up, when let me rant and when to shake me out of a shit storm with some tough love. That is the beauty of having a built in best friend. Thanks Ma! However, I'd be lying if I said our relationship has always been like this.

That "formerly annoying other half" I mentioned previously was hands down ME. If I really sit and think about it, I don't know how my sister even likes me after knowing me for the first 20 years. Pushed, kicked, hit, mushed gum into her hair, broke her things, made fun of her, threw decks of cards at her head, stole her clothes and put them back unwashed in her drawer; you name it, I did it. I really have no justification for my actions accept I was just plain annoying.

(LOL @ "was")

Thankfully for the sake of our friendship, I grew out of that phase and we grew closer together than I could have ever imagined. Isn't it insane how much you could want to love and protect just one single person with such fierce loyalty?  I really don't know where I would be without her. Love you, sis.

I can't help but take this annoying made up holiday (that I totally participated in and posted about my sis) and think about family and the future. OMG honestly though, I am changing and getting so soft in my old age. As far as the future goes, one thing that hasn't necessarily changed is my position on if I want to have kids...
Answer: "Nope."

Pause for reaction.

Okay fine, I'm lying a little. If I'm being totally honest, as of the last 2 years or so my answer has kind of changed to that question... 
New answer: "Okay, maybe just one if I could guarantee it was a boy and if I found the right person and they wanted a family."

Is that my clock ticking? But I still kinda don't really and will most likely end up with someone who doesn't want kids either.

*Insert new man here* 😊😗

However, within the new found feelings / the second response I sometimes get a follow up of: "Only one? That's not fair. What would your life be without your sister?"
Answer: EASY, horrible. My life would be absolutely unlivable without my sister. But! If I never had her I wouldn't miss her. Ya know? (Sorry Sis but it be the truth, Ruth.)

SIDEBAR: My sister's name is not Ruth.


SIDEBAR (Pt 2): 1. This might be a long winded sidebar. 2. GTFO of my uterus. I know I'm the one that brought it up but that question is so utterly ridiculous, to say the least, to say to anyone. Depending on who it's coming from, which is a VERY SMALL AND INTIMATE LIST as it is, personal / invasive questions about a woman's relationships and/or bodies should somehow be muted in thin air on the way out of people's mouths. I don't ever for one second underestimate the ignorant dumb shit that people can say. You know the saying, 

"So, what are other examples of questions you hate, Robyn?"
"Oh, why let me tell you!" 

"So, when are you getting engaged?"
"You're so pretty, why are you single?"
"Oh you bartend? What else do you do for work?"
And finally, the Queen Elizabeth of all rude questions which I shouldn't even have to say and thank GOD have never gotten but...
"Are you pregnant?"

Go home and stay in bed if you think any of those particular questions are ever okay to ask anyone.

Bottom line, you never know where someone is coming from or what they have been faced with. Or just practice common courtesy. What if I wanted an entire litter of kids but couldn't get pregnant and conceive even just one? What if my husband had a private problem with his swimmers? What if I just don't want kids and want to be Cool Aunt Robyn? What if I was engaged and my finance died in a sudden tragic death? What if I bartend, own a business, freelance and none of my private life is any of your business and you SEE MY POINT? 

Rule #12094: IMO, don't make personal small talk if you don't know someone personally.

3. IF my hypothetical child was an only hypothetical child I know for a fact that since they are my kid they would be an amazing, funny and an all around phenomenal person. How do I know? Well, I am a wonderful, well rounded and great person. We've already established that I am not settling for anything less than an equally wonderful, well rounded and great person of a man so my "child" would have already won the genetic lottery. That lucky SOB would further prove that since they are so amazing, funny and all around phenomenal, they would have no problem making their own friends. They would also have access to cousins and besties built in by their amazing, funny and phenomenal parent's family and friends. 

Honestly, just don't ask that kind of shit.

That sidebar was exhausting but it had to be said.

 But back to the point, FAMILY. If I don't have kids who is going to take care of me when I'm 90 and as annoying and crazy as I was when I was 12? Am I supposed to freeze my eggs? I can't afford 2 rents right now. This is my brain in overdrive.

Life in general is just so different than it was 20 years ago when I was growing up. Another cliché thought but literally, where does the time go? Wasn't LiLo just in The Parent Trap remake giving the performance of her life? I mean, we all know a weekend goes by in an actual blink of an eye and a sip of a drink but wasn't I just in 7th grade on my first date ev watching Titanic?

SIDEBAR: That's a true story. Hi Frankie!

Where do the traditions go? How do the little things get lost between the cracks? Sure we make new traditions and new memories but it doesn't make the old ones mean any less. However, with the passing of time / family members, they do kinda just fade away...

Not sure how many times I've said this but FINDING BALANCE is my ultimate goal in life. Maybe if I say it enough it'll stick? Rollercoasters just aren't my thing anymore.

*Writes down I HAVE BALANCE repeatedly like grammar school punishment*

Well, it seems you're the first to be here for my realization... Even I do end up old, alone and shitting my Depends at 90 I will hopefully be as balanced as Deepak by then so it won't matter. 

SIDEBAR: Do you think they'll still have Depends by then? In 60 years, will we even still have to poop? I hope so. Or maybe we'll have that potion from "Death Becomes Her" and I'll look forever 25 years old with no greys or crows?

Get on that, Science.
Jk, that actually sounds like hell and I don't exactly want to relive my 20's.

(Well, I just realized that now. So. Appropriate.)




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